


What It Means To Be A Parent.

by Kitty_Canary



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alpha Jace Wayland, Alpha Magnus, Alpha Maryse Lightwood, Alpha Max Lightwood, Alpha Simon Lewis, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Beta Clary Fairchild, Beta Isabelle Lightwood, Beta Robert Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Infertility, Intersex Alec Lightwood, M/M, Omega Alec, Omega to Beta Raj, Original Omega Character, Out of Character, Slow To Update, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-07-20 15:58:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16140605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty_Canary/pseuds/Kitty_Canary
Summary: It takes a lot to be a parent. Unfortunately some people are allowed to become parents despite the fact that they are completely unsuitable to take on this most important responsibility.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DON’T FORGET TO READ TAGS! THIS IS AN A/B/O VERSE  
> This is a trope smash. So please do not stone me if you feel icky because you didn’t read tags.

 

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A PARENT.

**Chapter 1 - Healing**

_Healing does not mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our life._

**NOW**

There was nothing to pack up. He had never brought anything there to personalise it.

He looked around his former office for the last time, but instead of grief all he felt was relief;as if a huge boulder had been lifted off his chest and he could finally breathe freely for the first time in his life.

He made his way out shutting the door for the last time. He had completed his “duty” as he had been instructed. Hopefully, now he would be allowed to live the rest of his life on his own terms.

Everybody was gathered in the conference room for cocktails. A small informal get together to bid him farewell and welcome in the new Head to the helm of the Institute. He plastered on a gracious smile and accepted the best wishes offered, as people shook his hand. Cheers were raised to him. He bowed bashfully and thanked everyone.

After 90 excruciating minutes of pointless small talk everyone drifted off to their duties or to dinner.

*****

He was folding his freshly laundered clothes into the only suitcase he owned when there was a sharp knock at his door. He knew who was on the other side. He had hoped that **she** wouldn’t try to talk to him tonight. But when had she ever not taken every chance she could to remind him just what a big disappointment he had been to the family in general and to her in particular.

As he hesitantly approached the door there was another knock but this was softer, “We’re all here,” Izzy’s soothing voice floated through.

Sighing in relief that at least he had some buffer he opened the door. On the other side stood the whole Lightwood clan. Maryse and Robert flanked by not only Izzy, but also Jace and Max, along with all three younger Lightwood siblings’ significant others.

“Alec we need to talk,” Maryse all but commanded as she walked in. “Go Ahead,” he huffed out crossing his arms across his chest watching he walk to the centre of the room.

Whirling around she crossed her arms and snapped, “I heard you accepted the position at the Canton academy. Despite my specific instruction to accept the position on the counsel at Alicante.”

“Yes, I did mother I am heading there tomorrow morning.” Alec replied flatly.

“No, you’re not.” She hissed. “ You will fire message Headmaster Xiao Qing that you cannot accept. I will not stand for a Lightwood languishing in some mediocre academy on the other side of the world. Wasting potential that is better utilised in a position of power.”

“ENOUGH” he thundered. 

“What did you say? How dare you? I am your Alpha, you will ...”

“Give it a rest Mother. I am no longer that child who shook in his boots every time you roared. I am over 25. Hell I crossed 30 four years ago. You haven’t been my Alpha in 9 years. Do you even remember the last time we spoke as parent and child?” Alec demanded with a cruel smirk.

Maryse gaped back , “I’ll tell you,” Alec continued, “eleven years ago the day Lydia and I were married. You didn’t show up when she divorced me four years later as family should.” “I couldn’t have possibly shown my face there, that was the most humiliating thing you did to this family. Couldn’t even keep your beta wife in line.”

“She had found her soul mate. I couldn’t stand in the way of her future. Something that has brought her tremendous happiness.”

“You humiliated this family by just rolling over.” She accused him

“She was finally happy. Something you couldn’t allow me to be. You have cost me everything that brought me happiness.” He accused her right back.

“The majority’s needs trump the individual” Maryse parroted running smoothing hands down his skirt. 

“Bull shit! Maryse Lightwood’s ambition trumps everyone’s happiness.”he threw back at her.

“Don’t tell me you are still pining over your blasphemous soul bond with that _**male**_ alpha warlock.” his mother sneered. “Last I heard he had mated, and has a kid too.” she declared triumphantly twisting the knife.

“I know that” Alec roared. Pulling up his sleeve to expose the soul mark on his right forearm, a pair of cat eyes, that had turned grey the day Alec rejected the beautiful man and married Lydia. “You cost me everything! All in the name of family, honour, career!”

“And I am **_so_** proud of your achievements Alec.” Maryse purred trying to sooth his temper.

“You’ve taken this institute from strength to strength. Why do you think Jia offered you the seat on the counsel? You have all the makings of a fine inquisitor.” she declared in glee.

“I **_don’t_** want to be an inquisitor. Just like I **_didn’t_** want to be the Head of this institute. But I was too scared of you and your inhumane threats back then to go against you. But I’m not any more. You have nothing to hold over me anymore.”

Before Maryse could jibe back Robert intervened, “How about we all take a step back. Okay, so Alec doesn’t want to follow in your footsteps Maryse. It’s okay, Izzy is headed on that path anyway. Izzy **_is_** the second choice for the counsel seat right?” He asked, genially smiling at his ex wife.

“Yes...” she replied her face brightening up but she scowled again. “But I can’t abide by him wasting his potential at some academy.”

“I don’t care whether you “abide” or you cowhide.” Alec spat out “Your opinion doesn’t count for anything with me. Hasn’t for while.”

“Then why did you remain as the Head here?” She questioned with a cruel smile.

“Because unlike you, I love my family and couldn’t in good conscience hand over the reins to Max until he was actually ready. Until, he knew all the in’s and outs of what it takes to run the biggest institute on the East Coast.” He explicitly explained causing Maryse’s face to redden in rage.

“I prepared you just fine!”, she spluttered in outrage.

“No! _You_  married me off to Lydia. That’s  _All_ the preparation you gave me. Thank the angels that _her_ parents had given her the proper training otherwise this place would have collapsed within a week of our taking over.”

Watching his rage build up Izzy quickly strode over and put her arms around his waist burying her face into his chest. On instinct he hugged her back burying his face in her hair taking in long calming breathes.

As Izzy calmed Alec Jace raged. “You said you’d be civil to him and not dredge up all this bullshit.”

“I can’t in good conscience...”

“Can it Mom, you never had one so you can drop the act.” Max snarled. “Please leave. And take your lap dog with you. Dad you do know you’re divorced right? You know you can use free will now.” The youngest Lightwood snarked at their father.

“No, not yet,” Alec spoke up.

Dropping a kiss on top of Izzy’s head he extracted himself from her arms and approached his mother.

Pinning her with an icy glare he began, “For years I did exactly as you told me to do. I blindly followed every rule. Let myself be moulded as you saw fit. Hoping if I was stronger, faster, a better archer, followed every order to the t, maybe you might finally give me your approval, finally say you are proud of me. But instead what you gave me were harsh punishments and abused me if I ever showed the slightest inclination that highlighted my omegan nature.”

 

*****

*****

 

** THEN **

_5 year old Izzy and 10 year old Alec were having a whale of a time as they played Princess tea party._

_“Plinthess Aletha your clown is fallin off.”_ _Izzy lisped as she adjusted the crown back on Alec’s head._

_After a few minutes it again slowly began slipping off Alec’s head and this time Izzy whined._

_“I’m sorry Izzy my hair is too short so the teeth can’t catch them and keep the crown on my head little one,” Alec soothed her._

_“Then just let it glow like mine,” Izzy adviced in all seriousness._

_“I wish I could,” the child omega whispered sadly._

_“WHAT did you just say?!” Hissed their mother who had been standing behind them unknown to either of the children._

_She yanked the crown off his head and flung it across the room causing Izzy to cower and shriek in terror._

_As she watched Maryse grab Alec by the ear and drag him out of the room she sobbed in obvious fear._

_The furor caused the nanny to come running from the kitchen where she had been preparing the children’s dinner. The two women met at the door and Maryse raged “Nanny had I or had I not firmly instructed you NOT to allow Alec into Izzy’s nursery during her playtime?”_

_“Yes, Ma’am, you had but...”_

_“You. Are. Fired. Do not expect any recommendation from me. You will vacate your room in thirty minutes beginning now.” She thundered then continued dragging Alec by his ear into her study. Not stopping when Robert came running in and picked up their sobbing daughter to sooth._

_Pushing him into a chair she menacingly hovered over him, hands at her hips._

_“Now tell me why you will be punished.” She hissed into his face._

_“Because I played a beta girl game even though you have forbidden me.” the child sobbed._

_“And why is it forbidden?”_

_“Because I am the first born Lightwood and it’s inappropriate for me to do so.” He whispered cowering._

_“Good! You understand. Now stand up, lower your pants and lean against my desk.”_

_“Mom, not there. My hands please Mom. Not there. I won’t be able to sit. Mom please.” Alec pleaded in vain._

_“Well you should have thought of that before you joined Izzy.” Maryse flatly remarked as she pulled out the switch from her desk drawer._

_“Now do as you’re told.”_

 

*****

*****

 

** NOW **

 

“But when that wasn’t enough to snuff out my “inappropriate inclinations” you decided to take it a giant leap further, you threatened both Izzy and Max then proceeded to cause my body irreparable damage.” Alec growled as he wrapped his arms around his abdomen.

 

*****

*****

 

** THEN **

_The Lightwood parents were attending a function at the counsel hall and had left the children under their nanny’s care._

_13 year old Alec, 12 year old Jace and 8 year old Izzy crept over to the couch where their nanny lay sprawled in an open book on half covering her face. “I think she’s down for the count.” Izzy whispered to the boys, as if to confirm her observation their nanny emitted a loud snuffling snore._

_All three children scurried off back to Izzy’s room and soundlessly shut the door before they burst into peals of laughter. Once they could stem their mirth, they ventured back out and headed up the corridor._

_The boys then followed the girl into their mother’s dressing room._

_Standing in front of their mother’s vanity table Izzy turned to the boys, “so who’ll go first?” She said giggling._

_Jace groaned and whined, “Hey! You guys both lost the skipping rope bet to me. And you both promised you’ll do whatever I tell you to do.” Izzy explained._

_Jace huffed but nodded his head, Alec’s face remained blank as he nodded as well. “So who’ll go first?” She asked again._

_“I’ll go first.” Alec whispered._

_“Take your seat, please,” Izzy instructed patting the cushioned stool._

_Alec’s young heart sang as Izzy diligently worked on his face._

_“Okay, done. You can look now.” Izzy chimed._

_Alec stood up and turned towards the mirror apprehensively and slowly opened his eyes._

_He loved what he saw. Smiling he turned his face left and then right to admire Izzy’s artistry and eye for colour._

_She had used the pink palette eye shadows palest and shimmery shade at his brow bone, a matte light pink at the crease, shimmery fuschia pink on the lid blending into a hot pink on outer corners of his eye lids. She had lined his upper lash line with black liner winging it out and used a dark blue liner on his waterline which made his hazel eyes pop drawing attention to them. As his lips were naturally rosy she had just used a shimmery gloss on them. In fact, other than his eyes she had used very subtle make up on the rest of his face._

_Alec_ _loved it._

_He hoped Jace liked the way he looked._

_Alec didn’t realise he had been staring at himself for quite a while until Jace squawked “move it bro, I wanna see myself too.” shoving him aside._

_“I look good!”, the younger boy preened in self admiration._

_“How do I look?” Alec asked softly looking down at the vanity table._

_“Eh...you don’t look bad either” came the nonchalant reply._

_“No, you look beautiful Alec!” Izzy cheered but she wasn’t the one he had hoped to impress and his young heart gave a sad twinge. Casting another glance at his face in the mirror he cleared his throat and spoke, “okay we have completed the bet, time to clean our faces and head to bed.”_

_“Oh_ , _come on Alec...” Izzy whined._

_“No,Izzy it’s getting late. Mom and Dad could be home any minute now. If mom catches us messing with her things there’ll be hell to pay.” Izzy and Jace instantaneously nodded before heading back to their rooms._

_Alec gave his face a longing look in his bathroom mirror. Oh how he wished he could do this openly but unlike his other lucky omega class mates his mother disapproved of him using make up or grow out his hair or do anything which highlighted his omega gender status._

_Turning on the tap he wet some tissues and began to wipe off the make up. The gloss came off easily and so did the eyeshadow but the liner stubbornly stayed put._

_He scrubbed his eyes with all his might, it lightened to some degree but didn’t completely come off._

_Alec prayed to all that was holy that he wouldn’t see his mother until his face was clear. But no such luck befell him._

_Meticulous Maryse dragged the children out of bed within minutes of coming home once she noticed the items on her organised vanity table had been moved. But for some reason she remained calm, only grounded all three, then gently taking Alec’s hand she pulled him back into her dressing room. A sharp smile on her face she picked up a cotton swab and wet it with the contents of a bottle. Whatever that bottle held wiped off the smudged liner in a trice leaving his skin unmarked and clear._

_“You aren’t learning are you? I guess your skin has thickened.” She sneered, “maybe it’s time I taught you the shadowhunter way. So here it is, put a toe out of line and I’ll start using the switch on Izzy. How’s that? Or maybe Max ...” she pondered mumming her lips pointed looking at him._

_“He’s just 3!” the teenager gasped horrified._

_“Think of that the next time you decide to join in on Izzy’s beta games.”_

_“But Jace wore it too. Why isn’t he...”_

_“Firstly, he’s an Alpha and secondly he’s a guest. Honestly, you should be setting an example for him, you are older after all. Remember follow my rules or Izzy and Max will suffer. This is your last warning and believe me I am getting tired of your petulance.”_

_“Y...Yes, Ma’am” Alec stammered as confidently as he could hands clasped behind his back head bowed._

_Maryse considered him for a few long moments, narrowing her eyes as a thought struck her, standing up she commanded, “Come with me to the study.” Alec followed meek as a lamb, quivering, wondering how many lashes awaited him._

_He was pleasantly surprised when she handed him a glass of water and a light blue pill the size of a nickel and told him to swallow it._

_And so it went Alec followed Maryse’s every word, took a vitamin pill from a bottle Maryse kept locked in her desk drawer right beside the switch that now lay unused._

_When he turned fifteen along with the vitamin pill he had been taking everyday on Maryse’s instruction he was put on suppressants to stave off his heat until he met as Maryse declared an appropriate female alpha or beta soul mate._

_*****_

_17 year old Alec rushed to the kitchen clutching the pills tightly in the his hand almost knocking Izzy off her feet._

_“Hey big bro whats the rush,” she enquired grabbing on to him to steady herself._

_“Just gotta take my meds,” he replied as he laid the pills on the counter proceeding to fill a glass at the faucet._

_Izzy peered at them curiously, “Wow! That’s huge,” she exclaimed pointing to the vitamin._

_Alec picked up both pills and swallowed them chasing them down with copious gulps of water._

_“What are they for?”_

_“Suppressant.” came the clipped reply._

_“Not the green one, the big ass blue one,”_

“ _Vitamins,”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Ofcourse I’m sure. Mom gives them to me.” Alec informed her._

_“I’ve never seen these before.” Izzy frowned her eyes squinting as if she was trying to remember something._

_“What do you know? You’re 13.” he huffed in irritation_

_“Training to be a healer, coroner and pathologist. I know medicines.” she proudly declared._

_“You just started this semester,” he informed her cocking an eyebrow at her._

_“So what? I have access to the labs.” she chimed back_

_“All areas...?” he questioned_

_“No, but...”_

_“Izzy, drop it.”_

_“Fine.” she relented._

_“Have a great time at patrol,”she called after him as he headed out into the dusk through the back door._

_*****_

_Alec was changing into his workout gear in the omega locker room when Raj Bakshi approached him, “so when’re you getting the surgery?” he questioned in a hushed voice._

_“What surgery?” Alec asked completely flummoxed by the odd question._

_“The hysterectomy dude” Raj whispered looking around to make sure they weren’t over heard by any other occupants._

_“Wha... why would you ask me something like that,” Alec spat at the other boy._

_“You don’t have to pretend with me,” raj soothed, “ I’m on hormones too. Look no boobs, chest hair and arm pit hair. See we’re the same you and me.” Alec looked at their similar body characteristics and a doubt took hold bringing the conversation with Izzy to the fore front of his mind._

“ _I haven’t fixed a date yet.” Alec finally mumbled back._

_“There’s no hurry.” Raj replied patting his shoulder in understanding before walking away sensing the other omega’s discomfort. Though the reason wasn’t what Raj assumed it to be._

_Later that night Alec hesitantly handed that day’s dose over to Izzy, “I’ll get Meliorn to test these he owes me a few favours,” she said holding up her hand to stem any questions Alec had, being as stressed as he was Alec let it slip, “don’t worry Alec we’ll get to the bottom of this.” Izzy promised hugging him as tight as she could._

_Next day Izzy informed him that the green pill was just run of the mill suppressant prescribed to minor unmated omegas so he could continue to safely ingest it._

_The tests on the blue pill on the other hand had baffled Meliorn who now refused to divulge anything until he could get it checked by one of his off campus “mentors” which was Meliorn speak for black market dealers within both the shadow and the mundane worlds._

_As over the course of the past few years Maryse had watched Alec be the dutiful son she was so lovingly grooming she no longer kept a hawk eye on whether he was actually swallowing both pills or not. So with a little coaching on slight of hand from Jace Alec learnt to slip the blue pill into his jacket pocket while swallowing only the suppressant._

_Luckily because pill time was just before Alec headed out on patrol disposal was performed enroute to the his patrol quadrant which changed on a nightly basis._

_After 14 harrowing and tense days Meliorn finally got back to Izzy with the results. As they all had suspected the pills were hormones but the kicker was they weren’t the male beta hormones prescribed for omegas who wanted to be sires only and not bearers. These were alpha male hormones usually prescribed to Male alphas who had suffered testicular injury or testicular cancer._

 

*****

*****

 

** NOW **

“I wanted children of my own Mother.” Alec thundered.

“I wanted children of my own.” Alec repeated again softly, directing a longing  glance at Jael’s slightly curved pregnant belly.

“Believe me I did you a favour,” Maryse scoffed, “pregnancy is worse than hell. You three destroyed my body.” she declared pointing at her well toned, firm, svelte figure. Causing everyone around her to exchange glances questioning her sanity.

“You should be thanking me.”

“Anyway if you can’t bear you can always mate a nice beta girl and sire a few ankle biters as I have been advising you for years.” she declared with a triumphant smile.

“You think I haven’t thought of that? But I can’t use that route either Because your little science experiment with those pill left me sterile.”

“Eh... kids aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Look at you lot disappointing failures the whole bunch of you.”

“You are a nasty piece of work, aren’t you?”Alec hissed at his mother, “I can’t understand why I expected you to have an iota of common decency. You aren’t even human, hell even animals love their children more than you do us.”

“And you father, you knew exactly what she was upto, didn’t you?” Alec queried pinning Robert with a pointed glare “But you let it happen anyway. You refused to protect me. You are the epitome of spineless. You are the amalgamation of everything my supposed mother tried to drum out of me.” Alec finished bitterly causing the man to squirm where he stood, “Neither of you deserve to be called parents. So it’s best you leave and make sure we never cross paths ever again.”

“Alec I’m not ... “ Maryse began to argue.

“GET OUT! Both of you” Alec roared causing his parents to scurry out of his presence.

Once the Lightwood parents had departed Alec finally felt strong enough to fall apart in the presence of his true family collapsing into Izzy and Jael’s arms as the rest huddled around him, offering him comfort and support.

Till that evening none of them had realised the true extent of the damage Maryse had caused their eldest sibling.

Taking some bracing breaths Alec extracted himself from the huddle and encouraged himself, “No, I can’t dwell of this anymore. What’s passed is past. Wallowing will change nothing. I have to finish packing.”

Everybody busied around him helping him clean out the room he had been living in the past few years but had never truly been his home.

***** 

To Be Continued..... (maybe ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ )

A/N: As of today 10/12/2018 I have d beginning and ending of chapter 2 chalked out, and am hammering out the middle. So please keep tuned :)

Inspiration for Alec’s soulmate mark - https://goo.gl/images/1WwNDs


	2. Chapter 2 - Friendship

** WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A PARENT **

_ Chapter 2 - Friendship _

_Friends are medicines for a wounded heart, and vitamins for a hopeful soul._

**NOW**  
_Beginning of Summer 2018_

“Come on big bro, you are spending your last night in New York at our place,” Izzy declared as Simon picked up Alec’s suitcase and just walked out of the room without a word.  
“Izzy, I can’t” Alec weakly protested.  
“Come on!Alec,” Clary pouted giving him puppy dog eyes.  
“I’m not in the mood to party.” Alec warned.  
“Just Dinner. Just Us.” Max promised.  
“A quiet dinner at Taki’s.” Jael assured as they hooked their arm through his. “Come on.” they encouraged gently pulling him along.

They all piled into Simon’s van.  
Max helped Jael in and then tucked them into his side, a gentle hand laid on their pregnant abdomen. Alec watched their interaction, feeling grateful that he was leaving his baby brother and his best friend in each other’s care. He couldn’t help tearing up like a proud parent when Max laid a tender kiss on Jael’s temple as they snuggled. His brother was all grown up, mated and about to become a father in a few short months.

“See Izzy! I told you keeping this van was the best idea. We all fit in; with room to spare for **_additions_**.” Simon triumphantly crowed.  
“Yah, yah! I bow to your genius.!” Izzy replied giving her husband a flat look.  
“Hey!You are most welcome to walk to Taki’s in your heels woman.” Simon huffed.  
“Oh Simon! The Provider of conveyance that spare my feet pain. I bow to your genius.” Izzy praised, hand over her heart head bowed to her husband.  
Simon blushed, “Okay! You’re forgiven.” He giggled.  
Everyone tittered watching the couple’s antics.  
Alec knew he would miss them all, this easy camaraderie, their teasing and snarking.  
“Speaking of additions where are the three Musketeers,” Alec leaned over and asked Jace. “Maia and Jordan volunteered to take them for the night.” Jace whispered back hardly able to contain his laughter. “Brave”, Alec snorted. “Mom and Luke will be dropping by”, Clary interjected quickly.  
“Oh,so they’ll be the ones doing all the work.” Alec observed with a knowing smile.

Simon parked a few blocks from Taki’s as soon as he spotted an empty parking slot.  
As they all walked Jael hung back with Alec. Linking their arm through his again, they softly asked, “Why did you lie to her?”  
“It wasn’t a complete lie.” Alec whispered back looking down at the pathway they were walking. “But there’s still a good chance....” Jael tried to ask.  
“I don’t want to get my hopes up yet.” Alec cut them off. After all the disappointments he had faced, he didn’t want to jinx anything so preferred not to talk about it.  
“And frankly will YOU,” he glanced over at Max who was engaged in an animated argument with Jace walking further ahead, “will **either** of you, allow _HER_ anywhere near our niebling?” Alec enquired quirking a questioning eyebrow at Jael though he already knew the reply.  
“Good point.” Jael conceded nodding their head.  
“So ... How excited are you that it’s finally happening! ” Jael cheered.  
“Excited doesn’t even cover what I feel at this moment. But I am also scared, I can’t help but be worried about all the n number of ‘what if’ scenarios.”  
Jael stopped their progress and turned him towards theirself. Cupping his cheeks in their palms they firmly instructed, “What have I told you? Send out only positivity into the atmosphere around you and positivity will be returned to you tenfold. Come on repeat it.”  
“I send out only positivity into the atmosphere around me and positivity will be returned to me tenfold.” Softly but confidently chanted.   
“Remember that Alec, you have so much strength in you, do not let your past guide you. The past is gone. Focus on the present, cherish your todays and the future will take care of itself.” they advised linking their arm through Alec’s again so that they could continue their trek to Taki’s.  
“Did I ever thank you Jael?” Alec asked.  
“For what?” the younger omega asked with a puzzled frown.  
“For being my sounding board, for putting up with me, for supporting me and understanding what I’m going through better than even my family can.”  
“It’s called being a friend Alec. There’s nothing to thank me for. In fact you can consider this as my apology to you.”  
“Apology?”  
“ I was a prime asshole to you when we first met, wasn’t I?”  
“You had your reasons and you were still a kid so you didn’t know any better.”  
“I was 21 Alec.” Jael deadpanned.  
“Barely an adult ...” Alec smiled indulgently.  
“But it got me Max so I guess some good came out of it.” agreed with a nostalgic smile their hand going to their swollen abdomen, as Alec nodded in agreement.

 

  
*****  
*****

 

  
**THEN**  
_ Seven Years Earlier - The Fall of 2011 _

_“Mr Lightwood, the two transfers from the Seoul institute have portalled in and are here reporting for duty Sir,” Lindsey’s tinny voice chirped through the intercom.  
“Send them in please Miss Moorehill.” Alec instructed.  
After a few moments the door slowly opened and a face peeked in.  
“Come in,” Alec  
Alec took in their appearance as they entered. Their facial features highlighting indicating that they were both of Korean descent despite one of them was christened with an Anglican name. They were both statuesque, both stood at a height that was definitely north of 5 foot 6 and were dressed in the regulation dark coloured fatigues. But that’s where the similarities between the two new comers ended.  
While one, Alec assumed the alpha, was strapping with pronounced musculature, bull necked, hair close cropped in military fashion; the other was athletic bordering on willowy with long honey blonde hair tied back in a severe pony tail.  
Alec also couldn’t help but admire how though in regulation uniform the omega transfer recruit had still managed to accessorise in a way that subtly proclaimed their pride in their gender. The sheer shimmer gloss they wore on their lips reminded him of another pair of lips adorned by shimmering gloss.  
His reverie was broken when the alpha transfer boomed, “Im-Seong Ju Won and Jael Greenward reporting for placement Sir!”  
“I can speak for myself Ju,” the younger shadow hunter snapped at their companion.  
Turning to Alec they smiled sweetly, “I am very honoured that you picked me for placement here at your Institute,Sir.” they gushed extending a hand to shake.  
“Your impeccable scores were the deciding factor Mx Greenward.” Alec smiled back, shaking the offered hand. “Welcome to the New York Institute gentlefolk. I’m sure you’ll make great additions to our ranks.”_

_*****_

_Jael sighed, star struck, as they watched Alec train with a young recruit.  
They startled when a hushed voice whispered in their ear, “You do know he isn’t a true beta right?”  
“What?” Jael whirled around to find themself facing a short bespectacled woman with dark curly long hair uneven fringe falling in her eyes which reminded Jael of their great aunt’s irritating Apso. The woman looked vaguely familiar but Jael couldn’t place her.  
They looked back at Alec, “He doesn’t smell like an alpha,”.  
“Oh He’s not an Alpha, he’s one of those OtBs. So be careful before he brainwashes you as well,” the stranger sniggered before scurrying away.  
Jael felt nauseated, they had heard of those omegas who would give up their bearer capabilities but this was the first time they were in the vicinity of one of those. All their admiration for Alec flew out the window. Being an Omega was an honour how could anyone in their right mind reject the Angel’s blessing._

_*****_

_Alec was baffled by Jael’s sudden attitude change. Their behaviour towards him bordered on disrespectful. He couldn’t let this attitude spread through the ranks he needed to nip it in the bud. He needed a spy and he had the perfect one for this job._

_“Really Alec!? you want me to spy on this new transfer,” Max grimaced.  
“Not spy just get friendly with them get the 411 on why they hate me.”  
“411?! Really Alec.” Max asked quirking an unimpressed eyebrow.  
“That’s teen speak for information, right?” Alec queried with a sheepish smile.  
“Yes it is. But it just sounds weird when you say it.” Max cringed.  
“Okay, I’ll stick to my old timey lingo. Now please will you please do as I ask.”  
“Fine...” the 16 year old griped rolling his eyes. “Point me in the target’s direction please.”_

_*****_

_Alec regretted sending Max undercover, actually now he wanted to bang his head on his desk, repeatedly.  
The reason? Well, at the end of the week when his little brother returned from his spying errand he sported heart eyes and was singing sonnets in praise of Jael.  
“Oh their hair is so shiny and smells of Japanese cherry blossoms.”  
“Oh their eyes are the colour of chocolates ! I wanna eat chocolates for the rest of my life.”  
“Their hands are so soft...”  
“Enough with the praises Max” Alec interrupted the enamoured gushing. “What did you learn? Why do they hate me? What did I do to offend them?”  
Max instantly sobered and mumbled “They think you’re an OtB, according to them being an Omega is an honour to be cherished and embraced not given up so nonchalantly.”  
Alec felt like he had been stabbed. Even though he had stopped taking the pills that painful evening almost 10 years ago they had left lasting effects on his body. The over abundance of body hair and a lack of a bust line. Not to mention his scent that remained faint and never full developed. The worst being his ...  
Watching Alec turn in on himself Max quickly exited and rang up Izzy. She was the only one who would be able to handle Alec, draw him back out when he retreated into the darkness of his mind._

_*****_

_Jael rolled their eyes and scoffed when Alec corrected their stance while combating with a staff.  
“This is the third time you made the same mistake Mx Greenward.” Alec warned.  
“Says the walking mistake,” the younger omega muttered under their breath.  
“What. Did. You. Just. Say?!” Snarled Jace abruptly stopping his sparring with the trainee on the adjacent combat mat.  
“Jace concentrate on your charge.” Alec instructed redirecting his attention.  
Pointing at Jael he commanded,“You,come with me,” ._

_  
*****_

_  
Once they were both in his office, Alec shut the door and indicating a chair he instructed Jael to be seated.  
He took his place behind his desk. Opening the middle desk drawer he took out a bottle which was labelled “Mother Nature’s Minerals” and held it out across the desk towards Jael.  
“Open the bottle and tell me what you can about the contents.” Alec instructed once Jael had taken the bottle from him.  
Giving him a curious look the younger omega did as they were asked. They popped open the lid, shook out a pill from the bottle onto their palm and inspected it minutely.  
Their eyes widened in horror.  
“I have read about these. These are black market alpha hormone pills! They are exclusively produced for male alphas who compete in illegal underground alpha “bull fights” as they are called. These cause a healthy list of the worst side effects. These are yellow grade contraband which have to be seized on sight.” Jael rattled off, as they quickly put the pill back in the bottle and snapping the lid shut almost threw it on the desk as if it was a hot potato._

_Alec picked up the bottle and returned it to its place in the desk drawer.  
Shutting the drawer he leaned back in his chair. Fixing his gaze at a point somewhere above Jael’s left shoulder he spoke again, “someone that I immensely trusted started administering these to me in the guise of vitamins when I was barely 13 and they continued to do so until I was almost 18.”  
“How did you stop them,” Jael couldn’t help query.  
“The thing is that person thinks I still take these.”  
“But you just said ...” Jael was baffled  
“That person thinks because I’m an omega I lack the capacity to think.” He explained tapping his temple with two fingers, “And though I’m the head of an institute I would never recognise the contraband they are handing over to me every single month.”  
Jael’s jaw hit the floor.  
“This body that you see Mx Greenward wasn’t corrupted with my knowledge I was gullible and trusting. This is a consequence of my own naïveté.”  
“You were an innocent child.” the younger omega whispered, their heart aching for the child Alec.  
“A foolish child. A fool who trusted his parents.” the institute head lamented fighting back angry tears.  
“Your parents did this to you,” Jael choked out eyes widening in shock.  
“Not all of us are blessed by the angel with parents who love us just the way we are. Some of us have to change drastically to win their love and sometimes even that isn’t enough.” Alec sighed shaking his head._

_Jael had never felt so small in their life. They had passed judgement on Alec on the basis of some rotten rumour. They felt extremely ashamed of themselves.  
“I know Sorry doesn’t even cover 1 percent of the apology that I owe for disrespecting you and disregarding your authority as my boss. I can only beg for your forgiveness.”  
“There’s Nothing to forgive Mx Greenward. I have been subjected to far worse than what you did or said. I just wanted you to know that I’m as proud of my gender as you are. Unfortunately for the longest time I was dissuaded from expressing my true sentiments. Due to which many people think I am ashamed of my birth gender. I am glad to meet someone who was allowed to live their life the way I always hoped for.” Alec sadly smiled.  
“Sir, please call me Jael. I do not deserve your respect, I deserve to be reprimanded for my insubordination.”  
“Everybody deserves to be respected Mx Greenward. But I will call you Jael on one condition.”  
“Anything you command.”  
“That we part tonight as friends.” Alec replied leaning forward and holding out his hand across his desk. Jael eagerly grasped it, Alec tilted their arm and continued, “because i have a feeling very soon we’ll be family.” He smiled as he looked with happy interest at Jael’s forearm where lay etched into their skin the image of a wolf head, mouth open raised in a howl with red flames shooting out._

_  
Alec’s smile faltered when Jael left, he wondered if Magnus sported the image of flames in combination with something else like his siblings soulmate’s.  
The wolf howling flames was badass informing that Max was the Lightwood family’s true Alpha, while Simon’s was the image of a pan bursting into flames as if the angels were warning him of Izzy cooking skills, the non existence of them._

_  
*****_

_  
“So you met your Soulmate, Huh! Wanna show me your soul mark.” Alec casually enquired of his youngest sibling later that evening.  
“What... I ... No ... Who told you?” Max squeaked.  
“Nobody I saw the wolf on Jael, it’s howling flames. So it was a process of elimination.”  
“You don’t mind even though they ...”  
“Jael and I spoke, they apologised and I forgave them,” he summarised for his brother’s convenience and comfort.  
“Oh that’s awesome! Oh Thank the Angels!” Max jumped for joy.  
“Now can I see it.” Alec coaxed.  
“Sure”, the teen chimed, happily pulling down the collar of his tee shirt to expose the sprig of plum blossoms at his collar bone.  
“The Prunus Mei, I wouldn’t have expected anything less for Jael. I am happy for you.” Alec congratulated his youngest brother.  
“You don’t mind! Really?” Max asked again.  
“You both complement each other very well.” Alec said to sooth his doubts, nodding his head for emphasis._

_  
*****_

_  
Jael somehow just seamlessly merged into their family, no questions asked. Jace was wary of them at first, he still couldn’t let go of the hurtful comment Jael had directed at Alec, but after an explanation and much assurance from Alec he too slowly let go of his grudge._

_Jael on their part did everything they could to ingratiate themself to Alec and so began a tentative friendship between the two._

_  
*****_

_  
“Will you tell me about the cat eyes”, Jael gently enquired, “I don’t mean to pry but my curiosity is killing me.” They said honestly._

_“His name was ... is Magnus Bane.” Alec uttered at length  
“Your soulmate is The Magnus Bane! The High Warlock of Hong Kong!” Jael gasped their eyes round as saucers.  
“Yah! Him” Alec replied ducking his head.  
“I knew you were divorced, how does someone divorce their soulmate?” Asked flummoxed.  
“We were never married, we didn’t even date.” Came the regretful reply  
“So he just outright rejected you? How dare he reject you?” Jael snarled.  
“Jael calm down.Actually it was the other way round,”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I rejected him ... by marrying ... a beta girl ... my parents considered acceptable for me to take as a spouse ... Lydia ... Who divorced me ... after she met her soul mate three years later.“ Jael eyes goggled as they absorbed the information Alec stuttered out, every word ripped out of him like a vital organ._

_He told Jael about meeting Magnus when he helped Magnus take down a circle member who was out for the warlock’s blood; feeling a connection the instant that their eyes met.  
Magnus thinking he was a gay beta man when the memory demon pulled out a memory of Jace smiling at Alec as payment.  
Lending Magnus his strength by holding his hand to save Luke, the second time they touched, which had made the luminescent pair of cat eyes appear on the inside of his right forearm just below the wrist.  
Later that same night sharing drinks and talking with that beautiful man into the dawn of the next day .  
But running away like a spooked fawn when sobriety returned.  
Planning to ask him out on a date at Izzy’s fervent encouragement._

_“I had this whole thing planned, where I would tell my mother to shove it and run away, if I had to. I was extremely sure Magnus would take me in. I was his soulmate after all. And I was careful, no one not even Izzy or Jace knew what was going on in my head. But I think my mother has some kind of sixth sense because she arrived not even a week after the night I had spent at Magnus’s place and informed me that she had a received a proposal for Izzy’s hand from Anson Pangborn”  
“The circle member who was executed in the Gard.” Jael spat out cringing in disgust.  
“Back then nobody knew he was an active circle member. She phrased it something like since I wasn’t showing any initiative to settle down with a nice girl, operative word being girl, and that the institute couldn’t be handed over to an unmated omega even though interim, Izzy would have to be the head until Max could take over once he was of age.”  
“So you just picked the first girl you met.” Jael scoffed.  
“Oh No! I was still willing to say screw this and flip off everyone and bolt straight to Magnus.”  
“What happened?”  
“I heard my father talking to the healers about my annual check up.”  
“Aren’t those confidential not to mention private?  
“Not if you are acting head of the institute. Just to be safe that no one has contracted demon pox.”  
“So what did the test results say?”  
“Oh! Those were normal. It seems my parents ordered some extra tests along with the regulars.”  
“No offence but your parents keep lowering the bar for what constitutes being douchebag parents.”  
“You don’t know the half of it.” The older omega snorted a laugh, “They ordered Fertility tests. And he was relieved with the ‘positive results’. “ he bit out with a bitter chuckle. “Positive results indeed.” He repeated again grinding his teeth.  
Composing himself he explained “I can’t have children. Those pills have done a real number on my insides Jael.”  
Jael bit back a long stream of curses, composed themselves and responded in a measured tone.  
“So what? You can adopt.”  
“Remember that one evening I spent with Magnus he let slip that he couldn’t wait to father an alpha child and teach them to be the most powerful warlock, head of the warlock council. Blah Blah Blah... If he was in a relation with a significant other who couldn’t bear a child he And his significant other would have to employ a surrogate because he needed an alpha warlock child.”  
“He sounds like a douche.” Jael aired their opinion without fear.  
“He’s an alpha, that’s how they are brought up. Even Max has been brought up with these same values by our mother. Magnus is Indonesian things over there are more traditional than they are here.” Alec defended.  
“Okay, okay”, Jael said trying to sooth his agitation, “just one question are you absolutely sure you can’t ever have children?”  
“Shadow world medicine are more dependent on rune, elixirs and potions. Mundane medicine on th other hand has surgeries and medicines that help in ways the Shadow world hasn’t even thought about.” Jael tried to inform him as gently as possible.  
Seeing Alec’s pained expression Jael quickly changed track, “Anyway, back to your story, what happened after you eavesdropped on the conversation”,  
“Magnus kept pestering me for a date, but I just couldn’t build up the courage to go out with him.” Alec took a deep breath to steady himself.  
“Then three things happened one on top of the other, Anson Pangborn arrived hellbent on courting Izzy, Lydia Branwell arrived because the New York institute wasn’t up to the mark and then there was a forsaken attack on the institute. which spurred my mother into almost accepting Anson’s proposal.”  
Alec cleared his throated to stem the tears that were fighting to flow, “I caved faster than a house of cards, I proposed to Lydia that very day. I will never forget Magnus’s face when I told him about it. He looked like I had gutted him. The finality with which he bid me goodbye still rings in my ears clear as a bell.”  
“Oh! But he was stubborn he took every opportunity he could to try to get me to change my mind. Angels in Heaven! He showed up to the wedding even, dressed to the nines looking like a Dream Prince no less. But I looked at Izzy, looked at Anson’s swarmy face and was cowed down. I did my ‘duty’. I got married, saved the Institute just like my mother had ordered. Now I wish I had just built up the courage to walk down that aisle told my mom off and just kissed the stuffing out of him.”  
Alec paused and gave a humourless chuckle. “You wanna know the worst part? Just 24hrs later Anson was arrested and taken to the Gard. I rejected my soulmate for absolutely no good reason. I have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my damn life.”he said through clenched teeth as tears blinded him.  
Jael put their arm around Alec’s shoulder and the older omega all but collapsed into their lap sobbing._

_“Oh! Alec,” Jael held him as Alec finally cried for all that he had lost in his short harsh life._

_*****_

_Alec and Jael formed an easy camaraderie something Alec had never had before.  
Though a gap of 6 years separated them in age Alec found that Jael had a sturdy head on their shoulder, a maturity that they shared with Alec. Maybe, they both bonded more because they were both the first born who from a very young age were handed the duty of keeping wayward siblings in line. Though the parenting both had received was vastly different.  
Alec knew he would never get back his formative years, which had been harshly destroyed, but he could at least finally confide to someone who understood what he went through during his heats and his very irregular as well as painful post heat cycle._

_It was Jael who encouraged Alec to seek help from mundane physicians, pestered him to have himself tested and treated for the damage his mother had done._

_The physical discomforts were treatable to an extent bringing Alec some amount of nominal relief. Then came the testing, the doctor informed him with a great amount of sympathy of what he had suspected he wouldn’t be able to sire children; but fortunately by some miracle there was still a chance, though a very slim one that he would be able to bear children or at least carry a pregnancy to term under proper medical care.  
His mental scars too were treated It was a slow process but therapy helped him with coming to terms with the fact that he was a victim of systematic and prolonged abuse. His therapist’s first advice was to try to avoid meeting with his mother alone or just around family. His therapist pointed out that Maryse was always on her best behaviour when even one non-family member was around. The buffer became Jael, who made up any and every excuse to hang around Alec when Maryse was in the institute._

 

_*****_

 

_ Six years earlier - Spring of 2012 _

_  
“Why is that little omega always tailing you Alec?” Maryse hissed in enquiry.  
“Mother I run an institute there will always be people chasing me for something or the other.” Alec deflected.  
“I don’t like it at all. You shouldn’t associate with those kind.” She sniffed in indignation.  
“I cannot handle your tantrums today Mother. We have enough troubles as it is; some sophomore warlock on break from the New York academy has managed to summon a Makara at Gilgo Beach of all places. I need to focus on that. Once that’s handled then we can discuss your problems with my recruits. Please leave now. Did I make myself clear?”  
“Alec, you cannot just dismiss me!” Maryse shrieked.  
“I said ... Did I make myself clear?” Alec thundered in a voice that brooked no argument.  
“Crystal!” Maryse sneered, whipping around she stalked out of his office slamming the door behind herself.  
Alec slumped back in his chair clutching on the arm rests he screwed his eyes shut and started taking deep breaths trying to ward off the panic attack that he could feel the beginnings of. Two hands came and covered his own and a gentle voice began coaching him through his breathing exercises. Slowly warmth spread through his body and breathing became less of a labor.  
Alec opened his eyes and smiled at Jael in disbelief, “I made her leave,” he gasped, “I spoke to her firmly like Dr. Steiner told me to and she left. She left me alone. She went away.” Alec kept repeating the last part under his breath in utter shock and joy eyes round in happy disbelief. Jael nodded their head at Alec, feeling proud at their friend’s accomplishment, which was hopefully a step in the right direction. They hoped and prayed that Alec would heal and find the strength to completely extract himself from his mother’s clutches._

_  
*****_

_  
“Mx Lightwood I have seen your test results and scans. The fibroids are still quite small so easily operable at this stage. You will only need to stay in hospital for one night post surgery. Though I must warn you like all surgeries there are risks.”  
“Will it lower my capability to carry a child to term.”  
“No, infact this should increase it by a significant margin. Your uterus will be healthier post this surgery. I was actually talking about short term risks like blood clots, fatigue, your libido may lower for a few months and your next two heats maybe be late.”  
“Risks that I am ready to take. Please schedule it as soon as you can.”  
“My office will get in touch with you with the tentative dates.” the omega-gynaec specialist informed him walking him to the door of their office._

_  
*****_

_  
Lying and subterfuge wasn’t really Alec’s strong suit. So misleading everyone in the institute, which included the Lightwood parents’ not so well hidden spy named Victor Aldertree, fell on the younger Lightwoods’ shoulders especially Izzy.  
“I feel like I need a bleach shower” Izzy shuddered.  
“Come again.” Jael asked a baffled look on their face.  
“That’s what they said,” Max quipped giving them a lascivious wink.  
“Firstly, eww Max TMI and secondly I meant Aldertree, creep cornered me in the mess hall.” Izzy gagged.  
“What’d he want?” Jael was all ears now concern for Alec instantly flooding their senses.  
“The same old ‘Alec never takes time off other than for his heats’ ‘is there some problem, should we inform Alicante,’ ‘maybe we should inform your parents’ ‘you know you should inform your parents if it’s too much for Alec. Being the Head of an institute is a tough job and he is just an omega so it’s understandable.’ “ she mimicked the man pulling a face and making air quotes as she conveyed verbatim all the comments Victor had made, “I was extremely tempted to slit his throat with the butter knife,” she seethed, “no wonder he and our parents are so chummy! He just won’t stop digging. ”  
“Let him dig, as deep as he feels like,” Jael dismissed, “hopefully he’ll end up in Australia.” they finished sarcastically, making the Lightwood siblings titter.  
“Wouldn’t that be a blessing.” Izzy cheered._

_  
*****_

_  
Max chased down his soulmate in the corridor and pulled them into an vacant office,  
“Hey Jael...” he greeted shyly.  
“Yes, Max.” the omega replied with a happy smile at this sudden clandestine encounter.  
“Do you mind if I ask you for something?” Came the hesitant question  
“Sure, go ahead.”  
“Spend your next heat with me.”  
Max’s sudden demand staggered them.  
“Wha... whe...” letting out a sharp breath they composed themself and then enunciated  
“Nope ! Not happening,” they replied firm with a resolute shake of their head.  
“Why?” the teenager whined.  
“Because A...” they began holding up a shapely index finger the rest curled into a fist, “you are a minor, B...,” they continued unfurling their ring finger beside the index, “you haven’t graduated yet and C ...if I ignore A and B Alec will kill me.” They finished holding up their ring finger and waggling the index and middle fingers.  
“A I’m almost 18, B I have technically only 2 and a half semesters left. C Alec loves you too much to kill you.” Max countered counting off with his fingers smiling sweetly.  
The young omega pursed their lips looked heavenward for patience and shook their head at their teenage paramour’s tenacious persistence.  
“You turned 17 2 weeks ago, so you definitely aren’t almost 18. A lot can happen in 2 and a half semesters, as they say there is many a slip between the cup and the lip. So we just have to wait. What’s the sudden hurry? I don’t have any plans of going anywhere, do you?.,” they asked causing Max to shake his head in reply.  
Cupping his cheeks with gentle hands they laid a tender kiss on his pouting mouth, “I understand what this is about my love, but there are too many variables at play here. Some of which can play havoc with our lives. Though I agree Alec loves me too much to kill me, he might maim me if I do anything with you before you graduate.” They finished with levity.  
“Cock blocked by my own brother! My Life Sucks!” Max grumbled stomping off in the direction of the gym, giving Jael a serious case of the giggles._

_  
*****_

_  
“Hey, how’re you feeling? How’s the cramping?.” Jael gently enquired as they handed him the hot water bag.  
“It’s not as bad, and for the first time ever I’m not bent over the commode vomiting out my intestines.” Alec said pressing the hot water bag to his abdomen.  
“That’s good to know, though the imagery was a tad graphic.” Jael replied cringing in disgust.  
“This means my body is improving, right?” Alec looked up at his confidante with hope.  
“Yes, you are ticking all the right boxes, so I’d say the chances border on excellent. Now rest, I’ll be back with dinner at 7”, directing a winning smile at Alec they headed out of institute Head’s suite._

_“How is he?” Izzy literally jumped on them when they entered the command Center before proceeding to drag them into her lab so they could have complete privacy.  
“He is experiencing cramping,” Jael began, Izzy’s face fell when she heard this, seeing her devastated expression they quickly continued “but and believe me it’s a good but ,he hasn’t vomited, needed to take a painkiller or asked for his sleeping powder. This is his first post heat cleanse after the surgery and the improvement is pleasantly noticeable Which means...”  
“The surgery worked,” the raven haired girl exulted her whole demeanour buoyed.  
“It would appear so,” the young omega hummed with relief.  
“Thank Raziel, he deserves something good to happen for him finally.” Izzy sniffled, “Don’t you dare cry,” Jael scolded, “you’ll set me off as well.” they grumbled fighting back their tears.  
They both ended up howling in each other’s arms “Hand me a damn tissue you silly blubbering mess!” Jael croaked, “Says the ugly bawling banshee,” Izzy retaliated, handing over a fistful of tissues._

_“Hey babe...,” Simon bounded into the room followed by Max, both stopping in their tracks when they saw their significant other’s apparent sorrow. “What happened?” Both alphas asked simultaneously in alarm.  
“Alec got his period,” Izzy replied then noisily blew her nose into the large wad of tissues she held.  
The alphas exchanged puzzled looks before Max courageously enquired, “So... is that a good thing or a bad thing... ?”  
“Very good thing.” Jael replied vigorously nodding their head. “The cramping has reduced and he didn’t vomit even once”, they elaborated to their boyfriend.  
“Hey less pain, and no vomiting that’s amazing in my book.” Max chimed.  
“So why are you both crying if Alec is healthier.” Simon questioned in utter bewilderment  
“Because he’s healthier,” Izzy yelled hiccuping. The alphas again exchanged a look before turning their eyes back onto the sobbing pair.  
“Oh! Stupid alphas, you wouldn’t understand. Get lost,” Jael groused waving their hand in a go away motion. Both omega and beta continued crying.  
Simon ushered Max out.  
Shutting the lab door, he muttered to Max “We need Clary for this,she’s our best bet,” as he pulled out his phone and shot off a message to her._

_To Clary — > need you at the forensic lab ASAP. Urgent!  
From Clary —> I’m on my way. Hang on._

_“What’s wrong?” Clary asked breathlessly having run from where ever she had been. Her hands poised at the ready to draw her blades.  
“Alec is better, healthier so Izzy and Jael are crying. In there.” Max explained pointing at the shut lab door, completely baffled by the whole series of events.  
“They threw us out when we tried to console them,” Simon complained.  
Clary burst out laughing, “Oh! You poor babies! Leave it all to Aunty Clary. She’ll make it all better in a jiffy.”  
As Clary disappeared into the lab Max observed in a hushed voice, “Didn’t you and her at one point date? So doesn’t her calling herself our aunt make your relation back then kinda incestuous.” Simon threw him a dirty look and growled, “Focus on the problem at hand, you twerp! Bloody, Teenager!” stalking off he went and stood a few feet away proceeding to pointedly ignore Max’s presence._

  
*****

 

_ Six years earlier - Early May 2012 _

 

_A few weeks later late one evening Jael and Izzy burst into Alec’s office.  
“Guess what?” They chorused.  
“You’re both pregnant?” Alec deadpanned without lifting up his head as he continued examining the paperwork on his desk  
“What...?” Izzy spluttered while Jael simultaneously shrieked  
“NO! I haven’t touched your brother. I swear.”  
Alec looked up crookedly smiling at the confession,”that’s good to know.”  
“Just for that we won’t tell you.” Izzy pouted.  
“Don’t be mean Izzy, we Have to tell him.” Jael coaxed the beta.  
“Only if he asks nicely,” Izzy pouted.  
“Okay, please tell me your big secret that I can never guess.” the institute Head asked with fake interest.  
“Guess!” his sister chirped  
“I can’t” Alec huffed  
“Somebody is coming back to town.” Izzy sing songed.  
“Whoever it is. Just tell me.” He asked again clearly losing his patience with Izzy’s pointless guessing game.  
“Guess” his sister begged.  
“Like I said I can’t”Alec responded again in exasperation.  
“Take one guess”  
“I don’t know, ... Meliorn.” He replied hoping that this name of that particular ex will hopefully get her to the point so that he could get back to work. Honestly he had no interest whatsoever in playing nice with any of Izzy friends, he had way too much work as it is , so socialising was out of the question at this point.  
“Uh! Of course not!” Izzy squawked.  
“Let’s just tell him”, Jael huffed getting bored with the siblings’ pointless back and forth.  
“Okay okay Magnus Bane is going to be visiting New York”  
“Wha... when...”, Alec instantly looked up at the two, eyes round as saucers, the utterance of that name by Izzy made his heart leap to his throat.  
“He has been invited to The New York academy convocation ceremony he’s giving the commencement speech.” Izzy gentle elaborated for his knowledge  
“Oh! Wow! Okay! I’ll have to attend it then.“ he declared joy engulfing him.  
“Yes,you are going. The academy is under your jurisdiction. You go there every year if you haven’t forgotten.”  
“Good point.” he felt a blush creeping up his cheeks embarrassed that he had totally blanked to the fact that he had to perforce go there every single year.  
“If I’m not mistaken Lindsey has already despatched your rsvp last week. All that’s left now is to get you some classy threads. So that you can sweep that delicious warlock right off his feet at first glance”Izzy said leaning forward to ruffle his hair and making him blush scarlet, but he couldn’t help but grin like an idiot making both his sister and friend smile back at him in support._

_  
*****_

_“Hey! what’re you reading here? Don’t you have enough stuff to read in your office?” Jael asked finding him sitting engrossed in an alcove in the institute library.  
“I ... I am learning ... to speak ... Indonesian.” Alec stuttered out in embarrassment.  
“Oh! I see. Wanna impress Magnus, good call.” The younger omega encouraged.  
“So what can you say?”, they asked  
“Not much I just started three days ago after you guys told me that he is coming.  
Mom is ibu  
Dad is ayah  
Hello is Selam Sejahtera  
Bye is Selamat Tinggal  
Nice to meet you is Senang Bertemu dengar anda “ Alec rattled off.  
“Okay... Wow! Glad to see the enthusiasm.”  
Jael couldn’t hold back their giggle._

_“Hey I gotta start somewhere. Now get lost I have like 500 words and 200 conversational sentences to learn in the next two weeks.”  
“I’m sorry. You are right. Good luck with your studies then.” They said giving Alec two thumbs as they backed away before making themself scarce._

_“....and I Love You is Aku Cinta Kamu” Alec whispered as he watched Jael literally skip out of the library when they caught sight of Max who had just walked past the open library door._

_  
*****_

 

_ Six years earlier - Mid June 2012 _

_Alec hadn’t ever been this nervous.  
He had to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from grinning like a fool when Magnus stepped onto the dais to give his speech.  
Alec didn’t listen to a single word that came out of his soulmate’s mouth because he was too busy staring at that same mouth, lips, the occasional peek of teeth and tongue._

_After the ceremony everybody headed to the academy’s combat training hall which had been transformed into a banquet hall with buffet tables against two walls.  
Alec adjusted his cuffs and then the collar of both his shirt and his dinner jacket, gathering up all his courage he briskly walked across the room towards his target whose eyes he saw narrow at him as he drew closer.  
“Good afternoon Mr Bane” he greeted with a smile holding out his hand.  
“Hello, Alexander. Why so formal?” Magnus greeted him grasping and shaking his offered hand.  
“I ... didn’t know whether you still ... remembered me. I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.” Alec stuttered out blushing furiously  
“It’s a bit difficult to forget your soulmate.” the older man replied with a head tilt and quirk of one shapely eyebrow.  
“Lydia and I got a divorce.” Alec said in rush,  
“She met her soulmate. She’s very happy.” He babbled.  
“What do you want Alexander?” Magnus interrupted  
Alec nervously licked his lips and gathering courage said  
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”  
“Go Ahead.” The older responded the picture of absolute disinterest.  
“It’s kind of a long conversation.”  
“Is it now?.” The warlock asked rhetorically. “How about this? Why don’t you give me a call then, and we’ll set up something up for this ‘long conversation’, how’s that?” Magnus snapped his fingers materialising a business card and held it out towards Alec.  
“Sounds good.” the younger man replied softly , taking the card and slipping it into his breast pocket. Giving it a pat for good measure as if convincing himself that Magnus had actually given the card to him._

_  
*****_

_  
Alec was wondering whether he should say anything else, would any kind of small be appropriate or should he just bid Magnus farewell. He was lost in his pondering when he felt a gentle tug at his jacket sleeve cuff. Looking down he found a toddler staring up at him with a toothy grin,  
“Hey tall perfun,” the child chirped, “I nee’ to go potty an’ only Ayah can ta’e me, because Mamianna is a gurl and gurls can’ go insi’e the boys room. An’ also I can’ wipe my poopy bum, ayah has to do tha’, so can I ta’e back my ayah to the boys room,”  
“Mummy.... Ayah... ” Alec repeated with a curious frown but then looking back up at Magnus understanding blossomed, his heart slowly sinking.  
“Oh Lilith! Raphael neno don’t run off like that!” A tall bronzed skin woman, with large almond eyes, sharp facial features and long raven hair, scolded the child as she came running definitely chasing the wayward child. Alec stared at the three for a long moment  
Finally, he swallowed his shock and gently smiled down at the child who still stood gripping his sleeve.  
Crouching down he gently addressed the little boy “Yes your Mummy is a girl.” He softly agreed looking over at the Latino beauty who had come chasing after the child. “Sure buddy, he’s all yours. Go do your duty daddy. I’ll call you.”  
Alec said as he stood up, giving Magnus one last sad understanding smile before turning around and fleeing. He had lost his chance._

_  
*****_

_“Did you talk to him?” Izzy sprung at him as soon as she saw him at the Institute mess hall for dinner that night. She sat down beside him with her plate and nudged his shoulder with hers when she didn’t get an instant reply.  
“He has a wife and a child Izzy.” Alec replied staring down into his bowl listlessly stirring his soup.  
“What?! That bas...”  
“I got married first! So I don’t fault him for going on with his life Izzy.” Alec interrupted placing a silencing hand over her mouth.  
“When you frame it like that.” She agreed nodding.  
“I cannot disrupt his life.” He said trying to hold onto his composure.  
“It wouldn’t be disrupting it’ll be finding closure. Closure that you desperately need. You rejected your soul mate Alec. You need Closure to move on in your life with a lighter heart, no more secrets.”his sister adviced rubbing circles on his back with a soothing hand.  
“Okay, I’ll give him a call.” Alec choked out swallowing down his tears._

_*****_

_Alec paced the length of his room phone in his right hand, finger hovering over the call icon the last 15 minutes. After another turn around his room he shut his eyes and quickly jabbed at the call icon.  
“Hello! Hong Kong High Warlock Magnus Bane speaking.” came the clipped greeting  
“Um Hi Magnus. It’s Alec!”  
“Hello! Alexander, I’d hoped you’d call.” Magnus purred.  
“Can we meet somewhere?” the omega asked his soulmate.  
“You want to have your long conversation?” Magnus asked tentatively.  
“Yes, when ever you are free.”  
“How about now?” the warlock chirped.  
“Now?”  
“Yes, I am free. How about meeting me for drinks at the hunters moon.” The alpha invited the omega enthusiastically.  
“Actually, this isn’t something that can be properly discussed in a noisy bar.I would prefer to talk to you in private, please.” Alec requested hesitantly, hoping that he wouldn’t be rejected.  
“Sounds very ominous. How about you come over to my penthouse suite at the Hilton Brooklyn. I am free all evening.”_

_“I... sure. I’ll be there in an hour. See you then.” Alec finished awkwardly.  
“See you Then.” Magnus chuckled before hanging up._

_  
*****_

_The door opened just as Alec was about to knock.  
“Very punctual as always. I see that hasn’t changed.” Magnus commented.  
“The Head of the Institute cannot be tardy, it sets a bad example.” Alec replied softly as he followed Magnus into the sitting area of the suite._

_“So... you said you had a LOT to tell me. Go Ahead.” Magnus took a seat on the couch with his graceful flourish crossing his legs the left over the right.  
The shadowhunter shuffled his feet, then after a beat assumed his parade rest stance.  
“I’m not a man.” Alec declared  
“What? Coulda fooled me. You sure look like one from where I’m sitting.” Magnus snorted with an aborted chuckle  
“Yah! Intake of Male alpha hormones will definitely do that.” The omega carefully replied looking down at the floor.  
“So you transitioned. That’s nothing to be ashamed of Alec.” the warlock soothed.  
“There was no transition. It was done without my knowledge or permission.” Alec spat out with a roar.  
“I’m sorry, ... I’m really sorry. ... I should start from the beginning.” the omega piteously apologised lowering his head staring down at the floor in shame.  
“My Mother Maryse Lightwood nee Trueblood is an extremely ambitious woman. She will do anything to get ahead in life. She married my father a beta just because he is ... was the last Lightwood. She began charting out my future while she was pregnant with me. You see in the last 200+ years the first child born to any Trueblood descendant male, female or omega has always been an alpha. So she had everything ready for my , rather her alpha offspring’s arrival. Imagine her shock when I came out a healthy 22 inch 9 pound 8 ounces of omega”  
“ You are ... ome... an Omega!” Magnus choked out.  
“Yes, I am. Hard to believe, right? This body is the product of my mother’s administration of Male alpha hormones to me from the ages of 13 to almost 18.”  
He went on to tell details of his childhood to Magnus. He paced all around the room as he spoke. He realised that once he started he couldn’t stop himself from divulging everything; from the systematic abuse, to the forced denial of his true gender identity to the threats that his mother made towards his siblings including the threat of marrying off Izzy to Anson Pangborn.  
“Why didn’t you come to me back then Alec. I would have helped you get away along with your siblings.”  
“I had a plan in place to do exactly that. But ...”  
“But ... there was ... is something else that stopped me from coming to you.”  
“What other threat did your mother dangle over you.” Magnus asked with barely suppressed anger towards Alec’s abuser.  
“No threat, just a consequence, a repercussion of the pills she gave me.”  
“Besides the visible exterior changes, and underdevelopment,” he said making a sweeping motion towards his body, “... the pills also affected ... reduced ... I cannot ... I can never ... sire children ... I am sterile in that department.”  
“But being omega ... “ Magnus tried to ask  
“My chances of carrying a pregnancy to term back then was less than 25 percent.” Alec replied quickly.  
“You were desperate for children I couldn’t in good conscience tie you to someone .. me ... who would be unable to give you that. That’s why I never corrected you when you assumed I was a beta male . I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know why I did what I did back then. You deserved an apology and an explanation for my hot and cold behaviour towards you.”  
“ well it does put things in perspective now that I know why. Oh Alec! why didn’t you just trust me and tell me all this. You do know adoption is an option right? There are quite a lot of orphaned little ones amongst our community.” Magnus said as he came to stand before him.  
Alec nodded. “Well what’s done is done. Dwelling on it won’t change it. Can I just make one request.”  
“Sure,” Magnus confirmed readily.  
“May I see your soul mark”  
“My soulmark? Sure. No problem “ the warlock answered fingers already flying to the buttons of his shirt_

_“Why are you unbuttoning your shirt?” Alec squeaked in alarm.  
“It’s on my shoulder,” his soulmate explained with a smile.  
Peeling back the shirt from his left shoulder he exposed what Alec had waited to see for the past almost half dozen years.  
A bow notched with a flaming arrow.  
Which was unfortunately grey... a sign of rejection.  
Alec couldn’t stop himself from touching it. An image that confirmed that the heavens had provided him a soulmate. He caressed light fingers tracing the soulmark on his soulmate’s shoulder. His eyes couldn’t help but travel up the muscular shoulder, up the long neck, the pronounced Adam’s apple, to Magnus’s lips. Lips that were slightly parted as a soft breathe passed them which made Alec realise that he was still caressing the soulmark.  
Of their own accord his hand slowly travelled the path his eyes had tracked stopping at Magnus’ chin to tip up his face. Alec slowly lowered his head nuzzling Magnus’s cheek from temple to chin. His eyes fell shut as he let himself take lungfuls of the scents that were all Magnus, scents that he had missed for so long. The scent of cognac, aromas of sandalwood, musk and sage smoke unchanged since the one night they had spent together; when Alec had let himself hope that he had a chance for happiness._

_Winding an arm around the older man the omega pulled him flush against his body and kissed him. It was nothing more that the vaguest touch of lips. He tilted his head and placed another just as carefully when he felt Magnus’s arms wind around his shoulders in encouragement.  
He licked Magnus’ lower lip seeking entrance to deepen their kiss when a childish shriek broke through his lust dampened mind causing him to leap back._

_“Oh Angels in heaven! What did I just do?” Alec whispered in utter horror letting go of Magnus and backing away quickly, putting as much distance he could between them.  
“You kissed me.” Magnus replied with an amused smile as he caressed his lower lip with a beringed thumb  
“I am a horrible person.” the omega whimpered.  
“That’s an odd reaction my dear. Why does kissing me make you a horrible person?” The warlock asked with a confused smile.  
“Because your wife and son are in the next room.” Alec replied in a hissed whisper.  
“My son and ...”  
“Yes your son and your wife. And she is beautiful. “ Alec complimented with a sad smile. “You two make a very striking couple. You truly have a beautiful family Magnus. I am so sorry. I should leave. I can’t be here. I shouldn’t be here. You deserve your happiness. Your family doesn’t need to know about who I am. I should leave.” As Alec spoke Magnus pulled his shirt back on over his shoulder and quickly buttoned it up._

_“Alec! Stop! Just meet my family.” Magnus chased and grabbed him by the bicep to prevent his departure. He came to stand right in front of Alec to block his path.  
The omega shook his head vigorously pulling at his arm trying to make a quick escape.  
“Yes, please.” The warlock practically begged. “Just meet them as the head of the New York institute. Nothing else.”he soothed trying to calm down his soulmate and try to get him to agree to his request of the introductions.  
“You are making great strides with your down world council idea and Marianna truly admires your work. She would be ecstatic to get a chance to speak to you.” Magnus explained as enticement.  
“Marianna ... your wife admires my work.” Alec  
“Yes, Marianna. My ... wife. Mother ... to my son Raphael. She admires you and all the work you are doing very, very, very much indeed.” He said with a wide proud grin proceeding to drag Alec by the arm into the adjoining room._

 

 

_*****_

_*****_

 

** NOW **

  
“What were Alec and you discussing he had an odd look on his face,” Max enquired of his spouse in a whisper once they were seated at Taki’s.  
“This and that the good old days, you trying to convince me to seduce you when you were a minor. “ came the vague reply.  
“What? when did I ever do that?” The alpha demanded affronted by the accusation laid at his feet.  
“A few weeks after you turned 17.” Jael replied with a wide grin.  
“That never happened. I would never do something like that I was always a gentlemen.” Max declared refusing to acknowledge his teenage misstep.  
“Very gentlemanly indeed, and what a gentleman you were.” Jael laughed planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

  
*****

  
Next morning Alec was in the assigned portal room waiting for Elias to arrive to portal him to his destination when the doors opened and in walked his father. The sight of Robert Lightwood send a shaft of pure fury lancing through Alec’s whole body. But his father’s slouching submissive posture gives Alec pause. Robert sniffed and swallowed as if he was trying to hold back tears. Finally he looked up and the pathetic expression on the older mans face made Alec’s rage decimate by a few degrees.  
“I can apologise till I am blue in the face but that won’t undo what we did to you.” The Lightwood patriarch whispered hoarsely, “I came to tell you that I think your mother and Aldertree are upto something. Last night after you kicked us out he pulled her into a room where they stay sequestered for no more that 15 minutes but she came out looking very pleased and smug. So just be very careful at your new post, I don’t know what kind of hornet’s nest she has kicked up for you over there.” He informed his first born.  
“I accepted their offer because there isn’t a single person on staff there that mother knows personally” Alec bit out an explanation with an eye roll  
“She isn’t above black mail to get her way” the older Lightwood warned  
“I can handle whatever she throws at me.” Alec replied with an exasperated huff. “Please leave now,”he commanded his father as his former PA opened the door and spoke,  
“Sir, Elias has arrived and is standing by to summon the portal.”  
“Please show him in,”he told Lindsey,  
“Well I guess this is goodbye son.” Robert choked out with a watery sniffle.  
“Please stop with all this dramatics, you never cared, and even if you suddenly do now, I don’t need your concern, so please go on with your life and kindly forget my existence.”  
“Alec please don’t ....” Robert begged.  
“Stop it! I am not falling for your act any longer,” Alec hissed at his father.  
“Okay, I understand, best of luck.” His father sniffled as he left the room, carefully shutting the door behind himself.

Alec shook both his hands vigorously and closing his eyes rotated his neck trying to calm himself down. Why couldn’t his parents leave him alone? He had made his stance very clear, he didn’t want any contact with them ever again, but like always they ignored his wishes. If his father was telling the truth his mother was far from done with him. He wondered what she had in the works to screw him over yet again and destroy the new life he was hoping to build away from this godforsaken City.

Elias entered with a wide smile on his face, seeing the joy on the man’s face Alec couldn’t help but smile back,  
With a few enthusiastic waves and flicks of his fingers and hands Elias summoned the portal still smiling with open glee,  
“Aren’t your jaws aching from all that grinning?” The shadowhunter teased.  
“Nope, you should start practising as well,”  
“Practising what?” Alec asked puzzled.  
“Smiling, dude! you’re gonna be dealing with kids. Being all grim, frowns and salty isn’t gonna get you through to them.” Elias advised gently.

“Fair point! Wish me luck,” he as he picked up his suitcase  
“Good Luck Mx Lightwood and please accept my heartiest congratulations,” the warlock bid him farewell still sporting his happy grin. “I’ll see you soon” Elias shouted as Alec stepped through the portal and it closed.

  
*****

  
Stepping out of the portal he found himself on the porch of a beach front bungalow. Placing the suitcase next to the door he walked down to the beach. Toeing off his shoes he pulled off his socks. Rolling up his pants upto his shin he walked down towards the sea. The warmth of the waves lapping at his ankles calmed his fluttering heart, gazing out at the blue expanse he let the salty sea air wash over him and empty his mind of all negativity that had dogged him for the last many months.

Two solid arms slipped around his waist and a voice softly whispered in his ear  
“Hey You.”  
“Hi!” he shyly whispered to Magnus leaning back into the solid chest, his hands coming up to twine his fingers with the older man’s.  
“You made it,” Magnus huffed out with a delighted laugh.  
“Yes I’m finally here.”  
Turning in the loving circle of Magnus’s arms he stood gazing at his face with a soft smile. Magnus couldn’t help but squirm at his rapt stare.  
“Do I have something on my face,”  
“No, you are just perfect and mine.”  
“Yes, I am. Yours and ... perfect.” The warlock preened in delight.  
“Conceited much.”  
“When you got it, darling flaunt it.”  
“You’re incorrigible,”  
“Why thank you my love,”  
“Now shut up and kiss me,” the besotted omega commanded.  
“Thought you’d never ask,” the warlock replied proceeding to thoroughly fulfill Alec’s demand.

They were so wrapped up in each other, they didn’t detect the presence of the nine year old boy standing on the porch watching them with a disgusted grimace.

 

*****

 

Jael Greenward - https://goo.gl/images/E4Bjsk  
Flirty and off color joke cracking teenage Max - https://goo.gl/images/UYbxue https://goo.gl/images/EPzdp2  
Head of the institute and loving husband Max - https://goo.gl/images/Fwhe5C  
Inspiration for Alec’s soulmate mark - https://goo.gl/images/1WwNDs  
Inspiration for Jael’s soulmate mark - https://goo.gl/images/1hMLUc  
Inspiration for Max’s soulmate mark - https://goo.gl/images/rhhGyt  
Inspiration for Simon’s soulmate mark - https://goo.gl/images/HpujkD  
Inspiration for Izzy’s soulmate mark - https://goo.gl/images/JKMWLD  
Inspiration for Magnus’ soulmate mark - https://goo.gl/images/Rsv6W9  
*****

To Be continued ... (maybe ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯) not maybe just very slow update 

 ** _A/N_** :- **please please please leave a comment. scathing reviews with criticism are very welcome here. Fling mud stones and boulders at me. Just write something so I can know what exactly you liked or hated. Please**

**Author's Note:**

> I frankly don’t know where this plot bunny hopped in from. I frankly am not One to write angst ridden things. I don’t know whether I’ll continue this or not. But I am sending it out into the world anyway. Go hop around my little dark bunny.


End file.
